What is a Gray Divorce?

Divorce can be emotionally and financially challenging at any age. However, a “gray divorce” can involve a variety of unique issues that do not impact younger couples. Gray divorce refers to divorce that occurs later in life, usually after a long-term marriage. A growing trend among couples over 50, spouses may choose to part ways after being married for many years due to a variety of personal, financial, or social factors. Critically, while the attitude toward divorce has shifted over the last few decades, many older couples are unwilling to remain in unhappy marriages, leading to an increase in gray divorce.

What Are the Reasons for Gray Divorce?

The reasons for gray divorce can be the same as those that cause younger spouses to end their marriages. Incompatibility, infidelity, addiction, and lack of communication are common reasons for divorce at any age. However, there may be additional considerations for older couples. A couple may have put off divorce until their children were grown, or perhaps they simply grew apart over the years. Upon retirement, a couple may spend more time together and realize they have very little in common.

What Unique Issues Do Couples Face in Gray Divorce?

The same issues need to be determined in a gray divorce as in any other divorce matter. But while child custody and support are usually not at issue for older couples, determining spousal support, property division, and debt allocation can be much more complex. Specifically, some of the issues that must be addressed after decades of marriage can include the following:

• Division of retirement assets: One or both spouses may have saved for retirement for many years. If retirement assets were accumulated during the course of the marriage, they are considered marital property and subject to division in divorce. Having to split these assets can significantly impact a spouse’s ability to retire or maintain the lifestyle they had saved for.
• Spousal support: Spousal support, commonly referred to as “alimony,” can be a contentious issue in gray divorces. If one spouse stayed home to raise the children or support the other’s career during the marriage, they may be at a major financial disadvantage in divorce. For long term marriages of 10 years or more, a judge may order permanent spousal support without a definitive end date.
• Debt allocation: Older couples may have incurred a substantial amount of debt over the course of a marriage that lasted many years. These debts will need to be divided between the spouses in divorce.
• Property division: If a marriage lasted for several decades, a couple may have accumulated a significant amount of assets. This can make property division in divorce more complicated, and highly contentious.
• Health insurance: Another critical consideration when negotiating a gray divorce can include health insurance. If one spouse has health issues and is not of Medicare age, they may need to secure alternative health coverage if they were on their spouse’s health insurance policy.

Notably, there may be tax implications when it comes to dividing property in a gray divorce. Spouses should take the tax consequences of selling real estate and dividing retirement accounts into account during settlement negotiations.

Does a Gray Divorce Always Need to Be Litigated?

The issues in a gray divorce don’t always need to be resolved in the courtroom. Mediation and the collaborative process are two alternatives to litigation that can help couples resolve the unique issues in their case cost-effectively and without judicial intervention. These methods can also allow spouses to remain in control of the outcome and part ways amicably, which can be crucial to preserve relationships with adult children and grandchildren.

Mediation uses a neutral third-party to help facilitate healthy communication between spouses and works with them to find creative solutions. Similarly, the collaborative divorce process takes place in a neutral setting and uses a team of professionals who can assist spouses with reaching a settlement. These processes focus on finding a mutually agreeable resolution to the complex issues an older couple might face, while reducing stress and addressing the emotional impact of ending a long-term marriage.

Contact an Experienced California Divorce Attorney

If you are going through a gray divorce, it’s vital to have the legal and emotional support you need. At ADZ Law LLP, our attorneys are committed to helping clients navigate the divorce process with skill, diligence, and compassion. Providing legal services and assistance in the San Francisco Bay Area, San Mateo County, and the surrounding region of California, we invite you to contact us to schedule a confidential consultation to learn how we can help.